Rules, dogmas

  • Breast is best

    Professional baby-lovers all hammer the same thing into us: nursing your baby is fabulous. ‘Breast is best,’ as they say. (…) When I told the maternity ward staff that there was absolutely no question of my nursing my baby, the attendant looked at me disapprovingly and told me that this was Not Good. A month later, the gynecologist accused me of ‘refusing to connect’ with the baby. The noose is tightening on those unworthy women who bottle-feed. Next they’ll be pointing the finger at us in public.

    Because to bottle-feed a baby is to be guilty of something. It’s a crime against nature. (…) But what kind of ‘natural’ are we talking about, in fact? Our daily food, our clothes, cellphones, airplanes, UV tanning, are these natural?

    CORINNE MAIER (2009). No kid. 40 good reasons NOT to have children. pp. 22-23. Toronto: McClelland & Stewart.


  • The good mother

    What makes a ‘good mother is something that other people decide. The chorus. The look of approval or of reproach. The people who always know what and what not to do. What’s good, useful and prudent. The ones who say ‘it’s natural, that’s the way it is’: you have to be patient, go with the flow, feel tenderness, dedicate yourself fully. If you feel like you’re falling apart, it’s because you’re just not cut out for it. If you feel like you’re drowning, you lack sufficient maturity. If you can’t get pregnant, you just have to accept it, give up on the idea, stop insisting: apparently, you’re not built to be a mother. If you never wanted to have children, that’s because, beneath it all, something is not the way it should be.

    Translated from: CONCITA DE GREGORIO (2011). Una madre lo sabe. p. 15. Publisher: Valencia: TàndemEdicions.